Quotable Quote Of The Day
Cossack: Well, you know... meh.

The situation: I rambled. With uncommon good sense, he paid me no attention. Above quote was evidence of said inattention.

I was sick at work today - I was going to stay there, but Dolly told Wayne that I was in the toilets throwing up, so when I got out he told me to go home. So I came home. And then I got a call from my bestest best friend who I hardly see because she lives so far away - she's coming down and wants to meet up! I couldn't have agreed (or even spoken to her) if I'd still been at work!

The odd thing is, I'm going to be where she lives tomorrow evening anyway!

Argh! Cossack not here! How will I eat?!
Phew.
He's left chicken in my fridge. And instructions on how to cook it. Excellent!
Smells nice.
I just called my mum. I'm going up to see them on the weekend. We chatted for ten minutes or so. Then she called me back just to tell me to bring a coat. How like a mother!

Early shift at work going fairly well. We keep running out of verifications and having to do sales. I'm like, "I've forgotten how to sell... want it? Ok, good, do this recording there's a good chap."

Never. Ever. Moving House. Ever again. Such a bloody hassle. I've lived here for... 2 weeks? 3 weeks? I don't even know. But I haven't unpacked yet. I've only just utilised the wardrobe.

Here is a great place to live anyway. I don't need to move again! (Please God let that stay true!) Close to everything, friends in the area... yeah. I'll stay here. I will live out my life in a studio apartment in Hawthorn (Melbourne, Australia). I have a bathroom, kitchen, fridge, queen sized bed... what more does anybody need?

Past midnight and once again I'm still awake. Stupid me. I don't know how I'm surviving - I only had about three hours sleep last night! Yet I'm still bouncing off the walls. Just watched half of Orgazmo up at Cossack's place while Bohuler slept drunkenly on my bed down here. Eventually came down here, woke him rudely, and he's now washing up while I type.

Quotable quote of the day:
Langer: I need someone decent to bonk frequently and hang around with for a while.

The nighttimes are so very depressing. I spend very little time alone, and I have no desire to, as my friends are all I have now, and I intend to enjoy their company as much as possible. But at night, everyone's gone and I'm left alone in my tiny apartment. If I'm not so sleepy, I simply sit and mope for a while. It's not healthy. There are some things to cheer me up. One thing which cheers me up is something a friend said to me last night: "Git, you are loved." Of course, that was right before he said "Remind me to hit you tomorrow" and "Night". But still!

Don't get me wrong. I don't regret anything or miss anyone. All I miss is the constancy a relationship brings - the reliance on a single person who is always there for you. However in the last months of our relationship even that was strained, so what I'm missing now is more a memory or an ideal, than a reality. I am unused to independence, to relying only on myself, and I find it hard. I have lived in Melbourne since January 2001, and started going out with Dave in March 2001. Before I moved here I had my mother to rely on, after I moved I had my brother, and after leaving my brother's house I had Dave. Always somebody, and now just me. It is an odd feeling, but generally good. Something that needs getting used to. I have weird urges to SMS Cossack if I'm going to be home early or late, until I remind myself I don't have to tell anyone those things anymore!

Anyway, onto more mundane things. Work today was good. Went to some spiffy place at Crown Casino for lunch, got slightly tipsy, insulted my boss (who was possibly also slightly tipsy) and came home early! Not that I don't insult my boss most days anyway. Once he said that everything I say is a lie, so I said to a friend loudly that he (the boss, not the friend) was cute. Three days later he was still giving me the finger for that!

To bed, to bed. It's half past midnight! Not very late, I grant you, but I do still have to get up in the morning for work.

I have re-discovered Collective Soul and discovered that they kick serious butt. Download and listen, you won't regret it. Even songs I don't remember from when they first came out, I've downloaded and enjoyed.

I am at Cossack's place in my pyjamas. He is cooking me breakfast. Living here is so far kicking lots of butt. I'm also doing a lot more in general that I wouldn't have done otherwise - seeing more people, getting out more and spending less time on my butt getting fat. Yesterday I went shopping in Richmond with Liny. Tonight Bohuler's coming round and cooking. All these people cooking for me! Almost makes me glad I can't cook!

I think, when I am famous, I will cover the following songs:

Pauline Henry - Feel Like Makin' Love
Donna Summer - Hot Stuff
Bette Midler - Wind Beneath My Wings
Allannah Myles - Black Velvet

Life would not be worth living if the following songs did not exist:

Bon Jovi - Blaze Of Glory
Dire Straits - Brothers In Arms
Guns 'N' Roses - Knockin' On Heaven's Door
Bryan Adams - Everything I Do
Meat Loaf - I Would Do Anything For Love
Live - I Alone
The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling
David Essex - Rock On

An Email From A Fan


Greetings Stace,

I ran into your blog whilst on a mission to hunt down
a slightly less retarded / less annoying voice for
Microsoft Narrator (I accidentally turned it on whilst
mucking around with my work laptop at home on a fairly
ordinary, overcast Sydney afternoon)... Anyway, doing
a search at google.com for:

"microsoft narrator" voice microsoft female

brings your blog up as the first result (or at least
it did on Sunday 12 October at 18:00 AEST, GMT+10).

In the end, I gave up on my hunt for a less retarded /
less annoying voice for Microsoft Narrator (Microsoft
Narrator was starting to shit me to tears).

I hope your quest for a new place to live is going
well, and I hope you find the above piece of trivia
useful/useless (cross out the word that doesn't
apply).

Smiles,
Scooter P. Jones

Phew!!! Sorry, dear reader(s), for leaving this so long un-updated! The electricity only got connected here in Hawthorn today so I've only just set up the computer and internet. (I've lived here since Saturday... with no power.)

Yes, I'm living in Hawthorn again! Same old appartment block, same old area. Great stuff! Cossack, of course, is living upstairs in my old appartment, so I'll never be lonely again! We go jogging most mornings (when I say "we" and "most", I go jogging every morning and most of the time he comes with me) and I go to his place when I get home from work. Until now I've been showering at his place too due to having no hot water here!

I love this area. Where I live is great. Coles is a couple of hundred meters away, Glenferrie station is not much further, and of course the entire Hawthorn/Glenferrie Rd shopping area is practically on my doorstep. Again. Is good.

I stayed with Andrew and Chantell last night, and will be staying with them for the rest of this week. I went to Bennison MacKinnon Real Estate this afternoon (whilst piking off from work) and applied for an apartment in the old block in Hawthorn. Apparently I should hear if I've got it or not within two days. I hope I do - no offence to the guys, but I don't want to stay with Andrew and Chantell forever!

I've just put some washing in the dryer. When that's done, I'll pack a bag and lug it into the city to pick up the key from Andrew, then lug it out to Preston to let myself in with said key. It's hard deciding what to take - I'm working under the assumption that I'll only be there for the week and will need pretty much only work clothes. And shoes. Pyjamas. Bathroom stuff. Jumpers and jackets. Books? No, too much weight to lug. Mobile phone charger. My DVD's.

I'm going to be pretty much without a computer and the internet for a week, except for at work. It scares me that this fact worries me. Perhaps it will be the start of a whole new lifestyle for me. That'll be nice.

Well, it's done. Dave and myself are no longer. It's all been surprisingly calm and businesslike. I'm going to contact my old real estate agent tomorrow and see if I can move back into the old apartment block in Hawthorn. Dave gets to keep Zeus - no room for him in a bedsit, it would be cruel. Everything for now continues much as it always has. For the next week or so we'll live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, shower with the bathroom door open, and undress in front of each other. And then I'll move out. We'll still see each other. There is no hate, no resentment, no desire for revenge. We can still laugh together. That, I think, is a good thing.

I feel like I swallowed one of these.

Last night. I went to bed. As I do most nights. Dave said he wouldn't be far behind. It was at least an hour later, I think more. The reason I'm not certain is that I was asleep by the time he came to bed.

I remember when he used to hug me because he loved me, not just when he was horny. I remember when he used to want to spend time with me - "Come home with me tonight," he'd say, hugging me at the tram stop while waiting for the 109. (Then we'd get to his place and he'd spend hours playing computer games and ignoring me, but that's not the point. At least he'd wanted me there originally. And we had sex.)

I think I have more physical contact with people at work than with Dave these days. Slaps on the back, pokes, hugs... it's normal at work. Then I come home and I'll be lucky if he touches me! Unless he wants sex. One thing about being hugged by, say, Anoka... I know it's not because she's horny!

Wayne is not helping. Hadn't been at work half an hour before he was telling me to shut up. Talk about ruining the rest of the fucking day. I spend 8 hours a day at work, 8 hours (or more) asleep, and the remainder of the day tired. Work is the only place and time I can be myself and have fun. Until Wayne opens his mouth!!!!!!!!!

No sleeping tablet last night, and no weird dreams. The screen of my pocket PC is fucked. Dave was late for work. It's cold outside. My throat hurts. Forecast top of 15 degrees. Cat is meowing hungrily. I've just done something which has turned one something called Microsoft Narrator by accident. It's incredibly annoying. It's saying everything I type. Thank God (if I believed in it) I managed to turn it off.

More Things That Kick Serious Butt

Long baths
When Zeus loves me
Finding out something horrible happened to someone you hate
Acheiving a goal or overcoming a challenge
Long weekends

Things that kick serious butt

James Bond Movies
Soprano Singers
Sean Connery
Sex
Futurama
Being in bed when it's raining
Payday
Talking to Craig (or so he reckons!)

Dear Ziggy

I don't like you anymore. You used to give me cheap line rental and local calls, but now you're charging me $109.75 for a phone number I never had at an address I never lived. You're also making it very difficult to dispute these charges. You want three forms of written proof that I didn't live there, Ziggy, just so you can keep your beaurocracy ticking over and keep your overpaid money guzzling Credit Management department busy.

Have you heard of "word of mouth", Ziggy? I'm going to use it! I'm putting this rip-off story on the internet, that tool that you so kindly provide for a fortune a month so that the masses (the rich ones anyway) can put their sob stories there.

Have a nice day, Ziggy. Rip someone off from me.

Stace.

It's too early. Garfield is cool. Music rocks. I sing good. Garwood is a funny surname. I like when almost nobody's at work. Quiet and an odd sense of freedom. This guy I'm listening to handles objections really well.

How much of a clue do people really have about reality and the truth? About ourselves? They say there's at least two sides of every story - the same goes for arguments and people. It's a well known fact that truth depends on who's telling the story; and history depends on who won the battle.

I took a sleeping tablet last night. I think they make me have weird thoughts and vivid dreams. I dreamed that we were in the middle of sex, then Dave got up, took a piss, and wandered off to his computer for ten minutes or so. Then he came back and expected me to get on with it and I slapped him!