Ponderings

It struck me yesterday that insecurity is really a subtle form of arrogance.
When a person is insecure, firstly they seek constant re-assurance - "It's
all about me... isn't it? Tell me good things about myself", etc. Secondly,
insecurity leads people to believe that if something is wrong with somebody
else, it must be their fault - "I did this to you, didn't I? Because I'm so
awful..." and so forth.

Stuff, and stuff...

Greetings mortals.

What a weekend. Long and slow and cold, Aidan ill, myself irritable and
snappy... and now, Monday morning, I think I'm coming down with what Aidan
had. It's kind of hard to tell now, since I've dosed myself up with Sudafed
and Panadol, but once that wears off I have a feeling I'll come down hard.

I stress too much about meaningless crap. When I think about things and
realise I've got another 70 years at best, and the Earth will be consumed by
the sun in a few billions years anyway... what does it matter? It won't make
any difference.

A learning experience

I caught up with mum yesterday, to go coat-and-pack-shopping. However mother was in a very strange mood and kept reminiscing and telling me tales of her childhood - something she's never done before! That was interesting.

Yesterday was also very emotional. Not with mum, but with Aidan later. The poor lad has been carrying around skeletons in closets, and thought that I'd mind when I found out. I won't go into details - he knows how I feel.

Musings from work

I sit and I sneeze. I type and read and make phone calls. I dream and talk
and stare at the pictures of Aidan on my wall. I fantasise about getting
out, getting away, doing anything other than work here. I create bookshops
in my mind. I look forward to getting home and not working for two whole
days.

Ain't no sunshine...

Fog this morning, lots and lots of foggy fog.

I feel ill. I've had hiccups for about half an hour, it's really giving me
the irrits and making my stomach churn.

Last night was meant to be the start of my CAE course in becoming a
bookseller. But the tutor never showed up, so we were sent home. Better luck
next week, hopefully!

Living with Aidan is going really well. He's an absolute darling when it
comes to cooking, washing up, cleaning, vacuuming, footrubs... actually,
everything. I am quite possibly the most fortunate woman on Earth. Except
for the minor inconvenience of my job!

I worked this morning. Working Saturday mornings is kind of cool - being on the phones again, in a small team of funky people with Ange as the Team Leader today. She frowned at me for being late and then I grinned at her and she grinned back because she's a big softie really.

I've applied for a Team Leader position at work myself, although I doubt I'll get it since I found out who else has applied. But that's ok, at least I tried.

Anyway, I came home and did stuff. Played the MUD a little, washed dishes, read Lord of the Rings. Aidan came home all stiff and sore and tired, so I made him dinner and washed up again and rubbed stuff into his back. I like looking after him when I get the chance. More often than not it's him looking after me, which is indescribably sweet. But I like to be able to do stuff for him. He's getting better at letting me, and even asking me!

Today's nutters

Mr L is going to take me to court because nobody was in attendence when we tried to deliver a parcel we sent.
Ms X thinks Mel works for the Mafia and her postie is on drugs.
Mr S doesn't know what he sent where or when.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

There is a customer I want to murder. In fact, my old favourite threat springs to mind: I want to garotte him ceremoniously with a guitar string. Or possibly cave his head in with an axe. Or maybe I'll cut his heart out with a spoon - because it's blunt, you twit, it'll hurt more! (To take a line from Robin Hood.)

Take a freakin' chill pill!!!

I am so sick of this job. Every single file, every single email, every
single call, I am dealing with somebody else's problems and complaints. It
really gets me down.

AAARRRRGHHHH!!!!

I'm so over Australia Post. Even if it weren't for the constant abuse from
customers and Post Politics, I'd still be over it. I feel so stagnant -
every day is just another day, and every week is just like the week before
it. Where's the challenge? Where's the motivation? I'm going to apply for a
Team Leader position, that might be better. Otherwise I'll try for Carolyn's
job - yes, my beloved manager Carolyn is leaving Post. I guess that means
I'll no longer be her minion, which is good news for Aidan because then I
can be his minion instead.

I want to go home.

Well it's been a somewhat emotional week. God I love Earl Grey tea. Sorry, back to the point... Aidan's been stressing over stuff lately, with pronounced mood swings seemingly every three seconds! Yes, I exaggerate, it's nothing I can't handle. Sometimes I have trouble figuring out if love is a blessing or a curse. I never stop loving Aidan, but that doesn't mean it's always easy going. Earl Grey, what would I do without you? Anyway, as I was saying... I forget... Tea is so good.