I don't know what to think now. Throughout this whole relationship, each new "step" has been initiated by Jon. He touched me, kissed me, made love to me, asked me to be his girlfriend. So the whole time I'm getting messages that he likes me, really likes me, wants me... and now he starts on the "I don't know" and "I know I'm being vague..." shit. What's that supposed to mean? What is it with me, I keep picking the fucked up ones. Maybe I'm the fucked up one. But at least I know what I want, and I haven't yet done anything that he's objected to. If this is going to end, if it's not going to work, it'd better end soon. Less time = less pain. This "I don't know" bullshit has got to go. I can deal, and have dealt, with a lot of things, but "I don't know" I refuse to deal with - too unpredictable, too uncertain. "I don't know" makes me feel insecure, and that's not a feeling I like. I'm never going to bloody sleep tonight...