Reminiscing (or, Why I Miss Travel)

If you can’t see any rubbish bins, you’re not in Budapest.

If you can see any Beatles memorabilia, you’re definitely not in Abbey Road.

If you feel like you’re living in LegoLand, you’re in Luxembourg.

If every street sign is in two equally incomprehensible languages, you’re in Belgium.

If you can understand anybody speaking, you’re certainly not in Scotland.

If waiters go into shock at the prospect of tea without milk, it’s gotta be England.

If the locals are rugged up in the mildest weather, you’re somewhere in Spain.

If the tall towers remain standing straight, you can’t be in Italy.

If somebody starts telling you about the first president of the third republic, you’re in France. (Nowhere else has had that many revolutions!!!)

If you can’t see any Goths, you’re not in Germany.

If there aren’t any drunken Poms, you’re not in Amsterdam.

If nobody has broken any of your electronic equipment, you’re not in Austria.