The last 24 hours have been difficult. Before I go any further I want to make it absolutely clear that I love my daughter very much, all the time. But, oh my god... why can't they be born with more communication skills?? She's been so unsettled, crying for no apparent reason, not sleeping or even lying quiety unless she's being hugged by Aidan or myself. We've both gotten a bit... tetchy... I just feel so helpless and useless. Aidan's been utterly wonderful in trying to give as much help as he can; I'm trying to write essays and stuff at the same time as being mum... but Aidan can't breastfeed! A couple of times I've had to ask him to give her a bottle of formula, which he doesn't like doing, but it's a godsend to me just to have that little bit of extra time, and rest, and both hands free.

I've been doing a few quizzes and suchlike, mostly on beyondblue.org, and I'm beginning to worry that I may be suffering genuine post-natal depression - and that concept only depresses me even further. I'm going to mention it to my GP when I see her next Monday (if I make it that far without going crazy!!), but hopefully it's just the "baby blues"... Everyone says the baby blues go away about a week after the birth; it's been nearly two weeks now... I dunno, I guess I'll just hang in there and see what happens. If nothing else, maybe some temporary antidepressants can just take the edge off it and help me get back on track. I hate the thought of taking them, though. Oh well, whatever will be, will be...