It has been a memorable weekend! To celebrate various things such as our engagement and the end of Aidan's studies, we took off for a few days to a bed-and-breakfast at Mount Beauty. It's run by a friend of Aidan's, and his dad paid for it. It was a beautiful unit, wonderfully scenic surrounds, and so forth. But the car... Aidan's smegging car! On Saturday, the battery went flat twice - the second time the RACV guy just replaced it with a brand new battery instead of jump-starting us. However on Sunday night, on the way home - bye bye car, again! This time the RACV guy said it was the alternator. He jump-started us, cautioned Aidan against using blinkers or brake-lights too much at the risk of running the battery low again, and said we should make it to Melbourne. However 15 minutes later it conked out again. This time my dad came to the rescue, and brought us back to his place. He took us back to the car (which we left by the side of the Hume in the hope of it getting stolen), jump-started us, and sent us on our way. Strike me down with a feather if it didn't conk out again, this time permanently, smack bang in the middle of the bloody Burnley Tunnell. Yes, that's right folks... underground, no emergency stopping lanes, three lane road full of speeding traffic. They closed off two lanes because of us! Finally we got towed back home to Mentone, and here we are.

The weirdest thing about the whole experience is that I haven't been worried, stressed, concerned, or at all upset by all the car troubles. I've been more than happy to simply sit in the car with Aidan waiting on the RACV or the tow-truck or dad or whoever. We've had some intense emotional moments, and I've really enjoyed the whole trip. Yes, all of it. Of course, it's Monday now and I'd only arranged to have Friday off work, so I had to call in this morning and explain that I wouldn't be at work because the car had broken down on the way home!

Aidan seems to be coming to terms with the fact that I love him and don't really care that his car sucks. This is good.

It's a Wednesday

Thursday tomorrow.

Friday off work! Long weekend, going away! Can't wait!

Must-See Movies

Requiem For A Dream
The Butterfly Effect
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

And I say to myself, what a wonderful week! Only four days at work (Monday off, Queen's Birthday holiday), all happy and stuff and in love, and all that other gooey stuff. We went op-shopping yesterday, followed by Matt and Mark's housewarming, that was fun. I must say, though, that some of the people there were more vulgar and juvenile than I usually like. Nevertheless, a fun evening on the whole, despite leaving fairly early so that Aidan could get up at 4 o'clock this morning. Ouch! So now I'm at home on my own, I've done some dishes and the washing, although I can't hang it out due to the drizzle. It's going to have to sit in it's bag going musty for a little while until Aidan gets home, but the dryer at the coin laundry should reverse that effect. No stress!

I've been downloading (or attempting to download) a few songs I haven't heard in ages or stumbled across or whatever today. There's a song by Vika & Linda called "We've started a fire" that I've been trying to download for literally years. I still can't find it. I've got 17% of somebody else's version of it, but it won't download any more. It's been a day of gentle music, predominantly female vocals, soft and soothing. As opposed to rock, metal, and so forth.

Incidentally, my head looks like a blueberry muffin. I tried to dye it purple, and it went funky instead.

I'm now considering getting married in a simple evening dress from, for instance, Syndicate, instead of either a wedding dress or jeans. Not to worry, I've still got almost two years to think about it. There's something about talking over wedding plans... it's easy to get used to living in a certain way, with a certain person, but when you start talking about the wedding it inflames some kind of passion and hope and looking to the future... I don't know how to explain what I mean, but it's wonderful. I become tangled up in the here-and-now and tend not to think about the there-and-then much. Every day is just another day. But wedding plans put everything in perspective or something.

Happy!

buzzzzzz

Everybody around me is talking. It's a call centre, I suppose that is to be
expected.

Aidan has his first two exams today. I am confident on his behalf, given his
own lack of confidence! Also he had a job interview yesterday and they want
him to come in again next week! Exciting! Except I think he's changed his
mind and doesn't want to work there. Every three seconds he wants a
different job, and is equally enthusiastic about all of them. So we'll see
what happens.

I'm at work, I'm bored. I don't want to be at work. Every morning, the
prospect of coming in to work and doing the same as what I did yesterday
seems so tedious. I am dismayed to find myself caring, getting involved - in
customer's problems, in Post politics, and so forth. Instead of being
apathetic at our broken down printer/fax/photocopier, I am distressed by it.
Somehow this has become more than "just a job", and it scares me. I don't
want to come back here when we're back from overseas.

Tact has it's merits...

Science science science. Is that all he thinks worthy of knowing? Excuse me
for breathing and not knowing how. I'm so dreadfully sorry that my best
marks were in English Literature and I had to take extra tutoring for
Biology. I am not a smegging genius, nor will I ever be. I'm more likely to
bumble through life achieving constant mediocrity, than to shine and stand
out. I take more interest in history than the latest scientific discovery. I
can't help it, and yes it makes me feel unworthy and low and not good enough
and not smart enough.

I got a call this morning from a recruitment agency, wanting to arrange an
interview for a new job. I said I'd call her back in a few hours. This is
dreadful - I'm institutionalised, afraid to leave Australia Post, afraid
that if I give Post my four weeks notice I may not get another job. Part of
me thinks that for the sake of our overseas trip, I need to stick with what
I know - my secure, relatively-well-paid job here at Post, until we leave.
The other part of me says "Overcome your fear, do something new!" But is it
worth it, for four months? I think I should stay here, although the decision
kills me.

We gotta get out of this place...

If it's the last thing we ever do!

Four months... less than four months, in fact, until I quit. I think I'll
make Friday 23rd September my last day with Post. That gives me two weeks
before we go overseas.

The worst thing about living with somebody is the cleaning up. Twice the clothes to wash, twice the dishes, twice the pairs of shoes lying around. Actually they're mostly mine.

Had a good day yesterday. Went out to Chadstone with Andrew, Chantell, and of course my gorgeous fiance. Chantell seems to have calmed down somewhat and is acting like something that passes for a normal human, instead of the manic depressive jack-in-a-box she used to be. It was a good day, and I have set a new personal record: I spend $99.95 on one item of clothing. It is a very sexy black silky shirt. I know it's very sexy, because when I walked out of the dressing room in the shop wearing it, Aidan boggled and couldn't string two words together. So I bought it. Previously I hadn't spent more than $80 on any item of clothing. And I thought that was expensive.

Anyway, Chadstone was only part of the day. Before that, Aidan and I went op-shopping here in Mentone. And after Chadstone, the two of us went out for dinner, to a really nice restaraunt/cafe in Mornington. There was an emotional moment, because I can't stop to think before I open my stupid fat mouth, but that was overcome with a little communication and an alcoholic beverage with dinner!

Today I'm home by myself while Aidan's at work. I've told him I've done some housework, but I only said that to make myself do it so he won't be disappointed when he gets home. I am in the process of doing the clothes washing, and the dishes are sort of half-done - the dishrack isn't big enough, I'm having to do dishes in stages. I'll do some cleaning up shorty, and I still have to go into the shopping strip in Mentone to get Aidan a belt he saw yesterday and liked. So I guess I'd better hop to it!