How's this for a theory: Travelling back in time will never be possible. That is to say, humans will never discover, or never use, the ability to do so. If it were possible to travel back in time, it stands to reason that somebody would do it, and probably bring the technology back with them. Therefore it would already be possible.

The X-Files makes me think too much about too many things I don't really understand. Hence the half-arsed theory above.

I'm a geek, as proven by a trivia bot on mIRC:

[n00bot] 015.703. Which temperature scale begins at minus 273.15 degrees Celsius ?
[n00bot] 1st Hint: ****** BONUS Question Value : 50 Points
[chup_re] kelvin
[n00bot] YES, chup_re!!! got the answer -> kelvin <- in 3.535 secs, and gets 50 Points
[n00bot] chup_re has won 3 in a row!! Total Points this WEEK: 275 & overall: 46440

My weekend has been relatively boring. I've been in #onlytrivia (a mIRC channel I created and then abandoned) telling all the guys about the engagement. I can't stop talking about it, and my beloved fiance! I also cleaned my apartment yesterday... for a given definition of "cleaned". I can see the floor. All this is due to Aidan being off with guns and stuff - airforce reserves. I have considered leaving the house at some point today... but I think taking Cossack's vacuum cleaner back upstairs is more than enough activity. It is a Sunday, after all. I will need to go shopping at some point, I'm almost out of shampoo and conditioner. Bloody haircare, getting in the way of my loafing.

Adventures last night! Went for a drink with some of my workmates, that was slightly less than dull, but after that... Aimless wanderings around the city with my beloved fiance, dodgy alleys full of interesting street art (and me without my camera)... It was the perfect night for it, too. Yesterday was a hot day, it was just cooling down in the evening and felt like the buildup to a thunderstorm. We called Chantell and told her of the engagement - we've been putting it off a little bit because she can be quite overbearing and, well, loud. But we both felt in the mood to handle that. When you're on cloud 9 (or possibly 10) there's not much that can bring you down!

The News

It's been an emotional few days. Telling parents was something I'd dreaded, but as soon as I said the word "engaged" to my mother she went into spasms of pure delight. Dad is chuffed, I think he's going to take out an ad in the local paper, the Euroa Gazette. Telling Aidan's parents was easier than expected, too. He said "Guess what?" and his mother said "You're engaged?". Everybody's happy! There are a total of two people who say things like "You're too young" or "It's too early" - Nathan and Frank. Nathan is an unemotional creature and I don't expect him to understand or sympathise, and Frank is a cynical old bastard so his opinion doesn't really count. The people who matter, the people who I care about, are all happy for us. Ecstatic, even! Just like us!

Quotable Quote of the Day
Aidan: I'm not a shark. Sharks have no neck.

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GRIN!

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Curse lack of time! Let me start at the start...

The Weekend
Adventures to Shepparton, Euroa, and Longwood East! Re-tracing the steps of my childhood. It felt very odd, to say the least. I haven't been to Longwood East in several years, since before my parents sold the property, and it was very much a trip back in time. Nobody was there, the current owners I believe are in Paris. It's easy to find out where they are, as the husband was a senator and is still in the public eye somewhat. So I wasn't worried about trespassing - anyway, the place is more mine than theirs! My blood and tears have been shed on that place, my childhood resides there still. Wide open spaces, views comparable to nothing this stinking city has to offer, and memories (yes, lighting the corners of my mind...)

Then we got home and I died my hair orange. Not on purpose. It was an attempt at getting back to blonde (you may recall I died my naturally light hair black). So I took Monday off work and spent two hours (and $110) at the hairdresser getting it back to something slightly less horrific. So now I'm blonde again, it feels odd. We made Aidan blonde the other day too, at least his did just go blonde and not orange or anything more awful!

Work this week has been slightly less tedious - although it's probably more me than work that's different. I have some newfound optimism, or rather I'm looking forward to the future and trying to ignore the present! Another thousand dollars or so and I'll be able to book all my airfares. I'm wondering if it might be easiest to go to London first on a return fare, and go to Cairo and back from there. The cost ends up about the same as a round trip Melbourne-Cairo-London-Melbourne. I think. We'll see.

I've been in a right nasty mood the last couple of days. Nothing's changed, nothing's gotten worse, I've just gone through a bad patch of being easily irritated by work/customers. It's incredible to come back to Aidan's place and be pampered and looked after. Indescribably nice. He cooked dinner for me, hugged and kissed me, rubbed my feet. Well, my foot. Close enough. But god it's nice!

Do I lead a happy and fulfilling life?

Difficult question. My life is so clearly divided into Work and Everything Else that it's hard to know which part the term "my life" should apply to.

My Life at Work is dull, repetetive, unimaginitive, lacking in stimulation. My Life's Everything Else is a different matter. There's Aidan and The Love. There's free time to do what I want: wanders around the back streets of Hawthorn, reading, listening to music, singing. I have stimulation, interests, and time flies during Everything Else. Time at Work drags.

I spend one third of each day at Work. One third, approximately, I spend asleep. That only leaves one more third for Everything Else, and even that isn't a complete third... given the travelling time to and from work, and getting ready for work in the morning, I'd say Everything Else is from about 6-11pm each evening.

I'd have to say that in general, I do not lead a happy and fulfilling life. I spend five hours out of every 24 doing exactly whatever I please, and for the rest I am a slave to my body's demands for sleep and a slave to Australia Post's demands for my efforts.

Gasp! Excitement! Joy! Anticipation! Read!

Aidan dragged me off for another adventure last night. Picnic at Arthur's Seat! Windy as all hell, but it was fantastic. I had a great time. We drove around a bit, Mornington and Frankston by night... lovely warm night on beaches and seaside roads and so forth... most enjoyable!

I'm not so good at putting emotion into words. But it is possible that I've never loved Aidan so much as I do now.

What a fantastic weekend! It's not that we did all that much, although we did have a couple of adventures. Mornington on Saturday: wandering, beaches, movie (Ocean's Twelve, average), laughing and smiling and loving. Mount Dandenong on Sunday: wandering, laughing, smiling, and loving. I haven't laughed so much in years. If ever!

I was looking through a couple of issues of Ralph magazine today. Just because I'm bored at Aidan's place and he's asleep. I made an effort to imagine that those girls would feel like girls - textured skin, squishy breasts, kissable lips. But all I could think of was wax. Hard, cold, smooth, and completely sexless. Make-up, airbrush, glossy magazine pages, and a complete lack of humanity.

It's no wonder so many young girls have low self confidence. They've been convinced that they're meant to look like a Ralph girl instead of a human. When Aidan calls me beautiful, now I know what he means... I look real. I'm not expected to look airbrushed. Pimples are ok, eczema is acceptable, and my pierced nose getting red and irritated from blowing my nose or nasal sprays for hayfever... just fine.

Possibly the greatest love song of all time...

Hey Janet (Yes Brad?), I've got something to say.
I really loved the skilful way
You beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet!

The river was deep but I swam it, Janet
The future is ours so let's plan it, Janet
So please don't tell me to can it, Janet
I've one thing to say and that's

Dammit, Janet, I love you...

The road was long but i ran it, Janet
There's a fire in my heart and you fan it, Janet
If there's one fool for you then I am it, Janet
Now I've one thing to say and that's

Dammit, Janet, I love you...

Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker
There's three ways that love can grow
That's good, bad or mediocre
Oh J-A-N-E-T I love you so

Oh it's nicer than Betty Munroe had, oh Brad
Now we're engaged and I'm so glad, oh Brad
That you've met Mum and you know Dad, oh Brad
I've one thing to say and that's

Brad I'm mad for you too...

Oh Brad, Oh... dammit!
I'm mad, Oh Janet!
For you, I love you too
There's one thing left to do, and that's

Go see the man who began it
When we met in his science exam-it
Made me give you the eye and then panic
There's one thing to say and that's

Dammit, Janet, I love you...

Dammit Janet; Oh brad, I'm mad
Dammit Janet; I love you!

Funny thing about phones and I. At work, I can pick up a phone at any time and call anyone for any reason. I have become expert at delivering bad news and dealing with disappointed or angry reactions. It's just my job. But at home, I hate phones with a passion. There are three people I'll happily talk to on the phone: my parents, and my boyfriend. I won't answer anybody else. I think it's because at work, I'm always in control of the call. I know exactly why I've called them, and I know how to deal with all their reactions. I dictate what is talked about and how long the call goes for. With friends, I don't have that control. I sound like my dad the control freak. Yuck.

144,400 people dead, thousands more listed as missing. Tomorrow I'm going to go to work and listen to hundreds of people bitching about a missing parcel or a failed redirection or some incorrect mail deliveries. All the while I'll be thinking of 144,400 dead people and the countless people missing them and mourning them. I'll be wondering and chaffing at the small-mindedness of my customers. The arrogance of complaining despite their full and tragedy-free lives. If a tsunami is the hand of God at work, I think he missed the more worthy target.

I was talking to Christian today, and apparently he had a message for me from Dave: "Fuck off". I find it kind of sad that Dave has nothing better to do than leave obscene messages for me with friends who'd rather not get involved in our personal differences. Especially as I've already "fucked off" in that I've severed all contact with him. Pathetic.

Wow, where to start?

New Years Eve was a bit dull, only six of us there - five after Aidan left. Only the three girls were drinking, and Emily and I took it easy. Chantell got sloshed and didn't shut up. Ah well, it was something to do.

New Years Day was something else entirely. The most intense, emotional, incredible New Years Day on record. I've done something to Aidan's head, I don't know what it is but I'm not sorry and I'd do it again!

Yesterday was fun. We saw Phantom of the Opera, which was great (screw you, Herald Sun critics!). Had the songs stuck in my head for ages afterwards.

Now I'm at home on my own - Aidan has to work today... and I have to be back at work tomorrow, darnit! Shit happens.