Monday, June 27, 2005
The weirdest thing about the whole experience is that I haven't been worried, stressed, concerned, or at all upset by all the car troubles. I've been more than happy to simply sit in the car with Aidan waiting on the RACV or the tow-truck or dad or whoever. We've had some intense emotional moments, and I've really enjoyed the whole trip. Yes, all of it. Of course, it's Monday now and I'd only arranged to have Friday off work, so I had to call in this morning and explain that I wouldn't be at work because the car had broken down on the way home!
Aidan seems to be coming to terms with the fact that I love him and don't really care that his car sucks. This is good.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Sunday, June 19, 2005
I've been downloading (or attempting to download) a few songs I haven't heard in ages or stumbled across or whatever today. There's a song by Vika & Linda called "We've started a fire" that I've been trying to download for literally years. I still can't find it. I've got 17% of somebody else's version of it, but it won't download any more. It's been a day of gentle music, predominantly female vocals, soft and soothing. As opposed to rock, metal, and so forth.
Incidentally, my head looks like a blueberry muffin. I tried to dye it purple, and it went funky instead.
I'm now considering getting married in a simple evening dress from, for instance, Syndicate, instead of either a wedding dress or jeans. Not to worry, I've still got almost two years to think about it. There's something about talking over wedding plans... it's easy to get used to living in a certain way, with a certain person, but when you start talking about the wedding it inflames some kind of passion and hope and looking to the future... I don't know how to explain what I mean, but it's wonderful. I become tangled up in the here-and-now and tend not to think about the there-and-then much. Every day is just another day. But wedding plans put everything in perspective or something.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Everybody around me is talking. It's a call centre, I suppose that is to be
Aidan has his first two exams today. I am confident on his behalf, given his
own lack of confidence! Also he had a job interview yesterday and they want
him to come in again next week! Exciting! Except I think he's changed his
mind and doesn't want to work there. Every three seconds he wants a
different job, and is equally enthusiastic about all of them. So we'll see
I'm at work, I'm bored. I don't want to be at work. Every morning, the
prospect of coming in to work and doing the same as what I did yesterday
seems so tedious. I am dismayed to find myself caring, getting involved - in
customer's problems, in Post politics, and so forth. Instead of being
apathetic at our broken down printer/fax/photocopier, I am distressed by it.
Somehow this has become more than "just a job", and it scares me. I don't
want to come back here when we're back from overseas.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Science science science. Is that all he thinks worthy of knowing? Excuse me
for breathing and not knowing how. I'm so dreadfully sorry that my best
marks were in English Literature and I had to take extra tutoring for
Biology. I am not a smegging genius, nor will I ever be. I'm more likely to
bumble through life achieving constant mediocrity, than to shine and stand
out. I take more interest in history than the latest scientific discovery. I
can't help it, and yes it makes me feel unworthy and low and not good enough
and not smart enough.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
I got a call this morning from a recruitment agency, wanting to arrange an
interview for a new job. I said I'd call her back in a few hours. This is
dreadful - I'm institutionalised, afraid to leave Australia Post, afraid
that if I give Post my four weeks notice I may not get another job. Part of
me thinks that for the sake of our overseas trip, I need to stick with what
I know - my secure, relatively-well-paid job here at Post, until we leave.
The other part of me says "Overcome your fear, do something new!" But is it
worth it, for four months? I think I should stay here, although the decision
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Had a good day yesterday. Went out to Chadstone with Andrew, Chantell, and of course my gorgeous fiance. Chantell seems to have calmed down somewhat and is acting like something that passes for a normal human, instead of the manic depressive jack-in-a-box she used to be. It was a good day, and I have set a new personal record: I spend $99.95 on one item of clothing. It is a very sexy black silky shirt. I know it's very sexy, because when I walked out of the dressing room in the shop wearing it, Aidan boggled and couldn't string two words together. So I bought it. Previously I hadn't spent more than $80 on any item of clothing. And I thought that was expensive.
Anyway, Chadstone was only part of the day. Before that, Aidan and I went op-shopping here in Mentone. And after Chadstone, the two of us went out for dinner, to a really nice restaraunt/cafe in Mornington. There was an emotional moment, because I can't stop to think before I open my stupid fat mouth, but that was overcome with a little communication and an alcoholic beverage with dinner!
Today I'm home by myself while Aidan's at work. I've told him I've done some housework, but I only said that to make myself do it so he won't be disappointed when he gets home. I am in the process of doing the clothes washing, and the dishes are sort of half-done - the dishrack isn't big enough, I'm having to do dishes in stages. I'll do some cleaning up shorty, and I still have to go into the shopping strip in Mentone to get Aidan a belt he saw yesterday and liked. So I guess I'd better hop to it!