Saturday, January 12, 2008

Just don't even ask me about this week. I'm going to tell you anyway, but seriously, don't ask. Sheesh. For starters, our whiz-bang new expensive computer... I've got it back, "fixed", but it's still not exactly perfect. I had to re-install Windows again because it wouldn't boot up at all. It seems to be working ok now, but I'm holding my breath. Secondly, the boredom. Oh god. I wish there was more to do at work so I could spend more time there. I've been home alone without a computer. So depressive. (Remember I don't watch TV at all either). I've been reading a bit. Yesterday and today I saw my parents, who came down to the city for a couple of days for Christmas. I know it's late, but mum had hurt her back and couldn't come sooner. After they dropped me back at home this afternoon I spent a few hours crying without really knowing why. Loneliness, frustration, boredom - some kind of combination. The last few days the lack of Aidan has been a physical pain. It's as though something is missing inside of me, it's a big gaping hole where he should be. Every now and then I just need to wallow in self-pity for a while, indulge myself before pulling out of it. I'm a bit drunk now, the final stage of the wallowing. Tomorrow I hope to find something constructive to do. I don't like my chances though - it'll be Sunday, after all. At least I have the computer working again, so I'll have some form of company in the form of bloggers and trivia players. Also my mum gave me a gift voucher for a book shop, so I might go shopping tomorrow! I'm in desperate need of a new good book to read. I love reading. There's a book called "The Mysterious Incident Of The Dog In The Night Time" which is supposed to be very good, I might get that.

8 comments:

fathorse said...

The Mysterious Incident is brilliant! There's also 'a spot of bother' by the same author, which isn't as good but is still an enjoyable read if you don't fancy anything too heavy (in literary terms i mean - the theme of the book is pretty heavy, but he makes it really funny. In a nice way :) )

Within Without said...

Why don't you start watching even a bit of TV, Stace? You don't have to get addicted to it...

What do I know, girl, but maybe you're having a bit of the post-Christmas blues, having seen Aidan and your family and all, and now being all alone again...

It's OK to feel sad or whatever. And even to wallow in self-pity, for a while.

You'll be moving to Canberra to be with Aidan before you know it. Then, it might be so hectic you'll be wishing for this kind of boredom.

Hugs. It'll be fine.

Aidan said...

Hey honey,
Its really hard to get a chance to wirte using blogger as i have to get access...

I miss you more every day. There is not a day that goes by where you are not in my thoughts.

I wihs i could be there now just to hug and hold you...

Stay strong baby, its only 2 weeks away.

All my love

Aidan

Stace said...

Hi darling... nice to see you here again :) almost like old times. I miss you so much. I keep watching these romantic comedies thinking they'll cheer me up, but they just make me want my own romantic hero in my arms! (That's you, by the way.) I love you lots. It's only 12 more sleeps till I see you again!

Cazzie!!! said...

Stace, I read this and I know you miss Aidan and all, but...you aren't with child by any chance are you? I got teary without warning at first before I knew I was so...and somehow, hubby knew it every time :) Now that would be awesome news :)

Stace said...

Cazzie, NO!!!!!! I have just finished bleeding copiously for a week, thank god!!! Don't you dare scare me by putting those ideas in my head!! haha!

Within Without said...

Ummm...can you and Aidan go into the bedroom and close the doors?

Actually, no...this is bootiful...but it will be no time at all before it all changes again...

Uh, er, the last comment to Cazzie...OK, thanks.

Cazzie!!! said...

Awwww, sorry, I wasnt tryin to scare ya... but it would be just gorgeous :) Let it be at the right time though hey :)