Saturday, January 12, 2008
Just don't even ask me about this week. I'm going to tell you anyway, but seriously, don't ask. Sheesh. For starters, our whiz-bang new expensive computer... I've got it back, "fixed", but it's still not exactly perfect. I had to re-install Windows again because it wouldn't boot up at all. It seems to be working ok now, but I'm holding my breath. Secondly, the boredom. Oh god. I wish there was more to do at work so I could spend more time there. I've been home alone without a computer. So depressive. (Remember I don't watch TV at all either). I've been reading a bit. Yesterday and today I saw my parents, who came down to the city for a couple of days for Christmas. I know it's late, but mum had hurt her back and couldn't come sooner. After they dropped me back at home this afternoon I spent a few hours crying without really knowing why. Loneliness, frustration, boredom - some kind of combination. The last few days the lack of Aidan has been a physical pain. It's as though something is missing inside of me, it's a big gaping hole where he should be. Every now and then I just need to wallow in self-pity for a while, indulge myself before pulling out of it. I'm a bit drunk now, the final stage of the wallowing. Tomorrow I hope to find something constructive to do. I don't like my chances though - it'll be Sunday, after all. At least I have the computer working again, so I'll have some form of company in the form of bloggers and trivia players. Also my mum gave me a gift voucher for a book shop, so I might go shopping tomorrow! I'm in desperate need of a new good book to read. I love reading. There's a book called "The Mysterious Incident Of The Dog In The Night Time" which is supposed to be very good, I might get that.