In the Absence of Aidan, I have good days and bad days. This is a Bad Day. It started badly when I awoke from a dream of him shouting at me, which is something he's never done. It continued badly when I was so tired all through work. It got badder when I burst into tears while washing the dishes this afternoon. You're meant to salt the water when you cook pasta, but not while washing the pot. Am I just a quivering heap of female hormones and emotions gone haywire? Is there a cure for being such a thing? Maybe a herbal tea might help. Or a hallucinagenic drug, but I don't have any of those. Can you dry out an Aidan and put it in a little bag, then steep that in hot water for three minutes?
On the whole I think I've done pretty well. I've taken over the household finances and copped all the housework (including conducting ritual exocutions of spiders), I've been seeing my friends and keeping busy, I've managed this whole bloody mess with the computer problems. Through it all I've kept pretty happy and positive.
But today I am overwhelmed. Not actually by anything specific. Just generally overwhelmed.
I haven't had any responses to job applications in Canberra. No real estate agent there will accept a rental application without me first inspecting the property. I have to start packing but I don't have any boxes. I should clean the house completely, but I just can't get started. I have to formally inform our current real estate agent that we're leaving. But I don't even know exactly when I'm moving.
I think I need a hug.