Monday, February 11, 2008

Just 17 more sleeps till I see Aidan again! Andrew has rightly observed that these last few weeks are the hardest. However, friends have rallied round and been mighty helpful, whether they meant to be or not. And there's always music. In the depths of despair, who wouldn't be cheered by Bob Marley singing "Three Little Birds" and AC/DC belting out "Highway To Hell"? Not at the same time.

I think what makes it the worst is that it's totally out of my control. I've contemplated moving before, of course... But moving to a place of my choosing at a time I'm comfortable with would have been a very different thing from uprooting my life because of somebody else's decisions. It's not as though Aidan is making me move, but practically speaking I don't have much choice. I could tell him to choose between me and his job, but that's cruel. The job makes him happy, he'll never find anything else that he could get so excited about, I couldn't ask him to leave it, or choose, or anything. Woman I am, complete bitch I am not.

I also find it hard to imagine life being any better, or even as good, as it currently is for me. I have a great job in a good location, I have friends within coo-eee, and I think most importantly I have familiarity with my area. I know which areas to avoid after dark, there are places which have significance to me for one reason or another, I know how to get into the shopping centre if I need something after the main doors are locked for the night. I even know Melbourne's weather patterns! They're mostly not very nice, but I'll miss them!

I am finding it hard to mentally adjust to the idea of all that changing. Suddenly I will have no job, I'll be staying in a hotel while looking for a place to live, I'll most likely be moving to somewhere I've never been before. My friends will have to shell out a couple of hundred bucks to visit me, or vice versa.

On the plus side, I'll be with Aidan.

He seems to think that saying "I love you" will make all of the above go away for me. He tries, he knows how I feel and he really wants me to be happy. I'm trying to be happy. I'm definately happy for his sake.

I can only hope that, with time, things will get better. I will get over my doldrums, I will find a job I like just as much as this one, I will become familiar with Our Nation's Small and Insignificant Capital. And in this case, I hope that familiarity will not breed contempt. I might even make new friends, although it's hard to imagine any new friends being as good than the ones I've got! (Hi Andrew!)

I try to maintain optimism. But as the time draws nearer, optimism gets harder...

5 comments:

Lord Tennisanyone said...

It's an adventure. You can wriggle your way into some fancy schmancy Government job and start collecting dirt on every one else so that they can NEVER fire you!

It's worked for Centuries!

Anonymous said...

A couple of hundred bucks??? You don't know what your talking about!

Petrol: $84.00
Drinks: $09.64
Chocol: $06.35
Acomod: $00.00

Clearly under $100.00 and if I dont bring any chocolate it will be cheaper. I know that a lot of people would spend more than that for a good night out.

Stace said...

HE, I mean My Lord, I wouldn't be caught dead working for the Government! Well, maybe, if they paid me a lot of money... how much is a soul worth? ;)

Andrew - Well, I was thinking about flying rather than driving... evidently that was very silly of me :) I'm obviously used to thinking with the brain of somebody who doesn't own a car and can't drive, ie me :)

Aidan said...

hey baby,
I am sorry i up rooted our lives.. it will take a bit of adjusting, i know saying i love you is not enough... i just dont know how to make it better, if you want to stay, you can stay we will make it work some how...

I love you

I always will

Aidan

Stace said...

Hi darling, don't be silly, of course I'll move there. It'll all be ok.