Saturday, May 29, 2004
I suppose it's always a bit odd, adjusting to a new relationship. You don't know what the other person wants out of it, or what they regard as normal. You have different expectations, and you don't always want to voice what you're really thinking for fear of being rejected or ridiculed. I was really looking forward to this weekend as a time when Jon and I could see a lot of each other - hang out, watch movies, whatever. I knew he was working this morning, but I didn't hear a bloody thing from him this afternoon even though I emailed him to say he could come round this afternoon if he wanted. I gave up waiting for an answer and went to get drunk, only to find he was doing the same thing - hmmm, it'd be nice to have known before, or to have an invitation. Perhaps I'm asking too much. I can accept that my perspective is probably quite skewed - being based on my own previous experience, expectations, and desires - but was it wrong of me to expect that we could spend a nice weekend together? Perhaps it was - after all, I never actually said anything to him about that. I didn't think it necessary, I thought it likely that he might want the same thing. Perhaps not. Maybe I'm just all wrong. And slightly drunk too, that's not helping. Only very slightly. But still. Slightly drunk is drunk enough for me to be typing all this crap.