Sunday, April 17, 2005

I've decided that fundamentally men do have a hell of a lot more similarities than I'd like. I won't say they're all the same because they're not. But not one of them has an iota of, I don't even know what. A combination of common sense, responsibility, and logic, possibly.

A while ago Aidan and I were comparing the things that really piss us off, or something. So I told him my big no-no, which is people being late or not showing up without letting me know. As long as I know, I'm fine. But if I don't know, I tend to "wait" for people - not move from where I am, not eat if I intend to eat with this person, and so forth. So, what does Aidan decide to do tonight? Instead of coming home after work, he decides to drop in on his old place in Seaford where Matt and Shane still live. He'll be home around 7, instead of the 4.30-5 I expected. One simple SMS letting me know that, and I would have been absolutely fine. Instead, I was waiting for him. Getting hungrier. Lonlier. More tired.

Oh yeah, it sounds like a small thing. But I reckon if I added up all the time I've spent in my life waiting for other people, I'd have a couple of years there that I could have done something useful with.

Maybe I am at fault. Maybe it's some little anal thing that only bugs me and nobody else cares. Maybe it's one more thing to add to the list of things about myself which are unreasonable or stupid, one more thing to try not to get pissed off about. Maybe I'm sick of trying to be perfect. Give me this fault. There's a hell of a lot of things I don't mind. I'm incredibly open minded, and I don't believe in getting in the way of any other person's good time - there must be a hundred things about which Aidan has looked at me incredulously and said "You really don't mind?" So let me mind this one thing. This punctuality thing. Let me get annoyed, I'm allowed. I'm not perfect.

I am a disappointment.

Other people's daughters have high-profile, well-paying jobs and expensive cars. Other people's fiances don't mind them getting home late. Other people's friends call them more often. Other people's employees are dedicated to their work.


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