It’s a lovely sunny day and I went for a stroll on my lunchbreak. How I regret that blissful wander now! For what should I chance upon but a dress! Such a dress! Full length, black “vegan” leather, laced-up at the front... I’m drooling even now. In that dress, even the frumpiest woman would look hot (not that I am frumpy). And the reason for the regret? It’s $200. I don’t have $200.

Goth clothing and accessories are once again becoming highly desirable in my eyes. They never really stopped being desirable, but more so with my increasing desire to differ. It’s as though the more bored and frustrated I am, the more appealing becomes the idea of myself as goth. I suppose that’s not entirely unexpected. It’s a form of rebellion, visible and easily interpreted, accepted but not embraced by the general public. It is even something which, in a moderate form, can be brought to the workplace. The only obstacle is the cash.

I awake,

Reluctant, recalcitrant

Discordant sounds irritate

The day looms

like approaching stormclouds

Refuge is found:

The snooze button

for temporary relief of symptoms

(if symptoms persist

see your psychologist)

Here I am

In a life too ordinary

Acting crazy

Lest I go mad

Anger rears its head

Unreasoned hate surges

Destined, though, for stifling

By conformation

By necessity

By unwritten rules

There’s a longing within

For rebellion, senseless and violent

Common sense prevails

And here I remain

In my life too ordinary

Ok, my turn. I don’t usually do Lists and stuff, but since I’m hyperactive and bored (even though I’m busy busy busy...) This is going to be difficult...

1 – The Book That Changed My Life: “Last Chance To See”, by Douglas Adams. It really brought home the plight of the natural world. Actually it made me cry, despite it’s humourous style.

2 – The Books I’ve Read More Than Once: Almost every book I own. Particularly Terry Pratchett’s “Discworld” series, anything by PG Wodehouse, ditto Douglas Adams (RIP).

3 – Books I Would Want On A Desert Island: Victor Hugo’s “Les Miserables” – firstly because it would keep me going for at least a day, and secondly to remind me that there is both misery and happiness greater than my own. Well, greater than my happiness WOULD be if I were stuck on a desert island.

4 – Books That Made Me Excited: “The Dark Is Rising” sequence by Susan Cooper. I know it’s silly, they’re childrens’ books, but they get me all psyched up and excited every time I re-read them! Perhaps I just wish for a life less ordinary! Also “Anna Karenina” by Tolstoy – how can he write 6 pages about a guy mowing grass and make it interesting?!

5 – Books That Made Me Cry: There are too many... “Elli” comes to mind, but the author’s name doesn’t. A holocaust story, need I say more? A real one, autobiographical.

6 – Books I Wish Had Never Been Written: Pass. Too many. But Homo Escapeons has a point with the censorship thing.

7 – Book I Am Currently Reading: Dostoyevsky’s “House Of The Dead”.

8 – Books I Am Meaning To Read: Everything ever written, particularly more in the following areas: Classic novels (Dickens, Austin, Wilde, etc), philosophy, history.

 

Psyyychos!!!! People ordering things that don’t exist, chasing up orders that haven’t been placed, blaming me for their disorganisation... In short, everybody is acting perfectly normal and human.

We went to Andrew’s birthday dinner last night, that was fun – lots of people we didn’t know, but they didn’t bite so we’re ok! Tired though – very very tired. So now I’m hyperactive and strange at work.

Busy busy busy tea tea tea busy tea talk drink busy tea.

Now Peter Brock is dead too! Pseudo-celebrities are dropping like flies this week.

I can just see the TAC (Traffic Accident Commission) having fun with this one... “Speed kills!”

What I have found most interesting is watching the story unfold, so to speak. We hear news on the radio, then jump onto The Age website (http://www.theage.com.au). At first there’s just a mention of a rumour, a few lines, then we hit “reload” every few minutes and a few more lines have been added – more detail, quotes, reports, it all builds up into a full article before long.

Another aspect which interests me is my own reaction to the articles on the deaths of Steve Irwin and Peter Brock. I am so accustomed to news only being true until another news article contradicts it, that somehow I do not believe these people are permanently dead. Surely next week they’ll be back? Every other news item seems to revert to a non-event in about week, so why shouldn’t these ones? It’s a distressing side effect of the over-saturation of media.

<b>Today’s Twit Of The Day</b>

I work for a fabric wholesaler. That means we sell fabric to retailers, manufacturers, and the like. I just got a call from a lady asking me for a retail price on a fabric (she never gave her name or said if she was calling from a business). I said I could give her an estimate, but it would depend where she bought it from. She seemed to have no concept of the fact that a wholesaler couldn’t give her a definite retail price. Then she started asking if she could buy directly from us – without having said who she was. I said we only sell wholesale to businesses of the above-mentioned type. She said she had such a business. (So why was she originally wanting only the retail price?) I said as soon as we sighted her business credentials we could provide wholesale prices. She was silent. She had done this a few times – just didn’t say anything, as if she didn’t understand what I was saying and was waiting for more. There was no more. What more could she want?

Now tell me – am I being unreasonable? Do I expect too much? Why did she not simply state who she was and where she was calling from, and asked how to obtain a wholesale price? Instead she gave me nothing and expected everything.

Actually the rudeness and stupidity of many people I deal with bothers me a great deal. Rarely does somebody start a phone call with “Hi, it’s Bob calling from My Business, how’s it going? Can I order...” etc. More usual is “I wanna order...” and I’m left wondering who the heck I’m actually talking to, and if they’re rude to everybody or if I did something to offend them!

I don’t think I think enough. Sometimes I am full of cynicism and judgement which seems to indicate some kind of analytic process happening, but then I wonder how much of what I say has been taken from some other thinker, and how much is original, and if maybe I’m really just automatically gainsaying every position taken by the popular media and people I don’t like. Perhaps all my opinions and feelings are just as manufactured as anybody else’s, but in the opposite direction. How can I tell how my own subconscious mind is working? I think I’m independent and different, but so does everybody else, right?

 

On a lighter note, I heard a dreadful joke this morning, in very bad taste but I will reproduce it here. Any who find it offensive, well, that’s fine. To each his own.

 

Steve Irwin should have been wearing SPF 30+ sunscreen – for protection against harmful rays.    

As I’m sure the whole world knows now, Steve Irwin is dead. At various times in his life he was, according to popular media, a “drongo” and a “dill”. He was out of the spotlight for a while (as far as I know), then he died and became a “hero” and a “superstar”.  How did this transition occur? I am obviously among the unenlightened, for few others seem to have any problem with this. I’m sure he was a nice enough bloke, he did a lot of work for conservation and tourism which I respect. Somebody explain how dying made him a hero?

I’m sick of my life. I spend 12 hours, five days a week, at work or in transit between work and home. That’s 60 hours a week I cannot call my own. Even when I do get home in the evenings I’m too tired to really do anything, so that knocks out those few hours between getting home and going to sleep as well. Of course, the mornings are taken up by just getting ready for work... My life is dictated by a workplace, which I suppose is marginally better than “lives dictated by tradition, superstition, false religion” because at least a workplace pays me money.

 

The Plan:

Quit in February next year, having worked here for one full year. Find work in the hotel/hostel industry. Save lots of money. Travel. Travel some more. Possibly work while traveling. Come home, or possibly move to Brisbane or Canada (don’t ask the logic behind those two choices, there may not be any), and start a backpackers hostel and/or cafe and/or bookshop.

Possibly the silliest thing I’ve ever been excited about:

 

We’re seeing Jeff Martin tonight (The Tea Party frontman). That is very exciting. However what I am actually more excited about is the opportunity/excuse to “goth up” – the black silk shirt, the black velvet skirt, the collar, black lipstick, etc. I’ve felt so normal for so long, conforming to corporate clone standards (wearing only black, but respectable professional black), it’s GREAT to be odd again. I dyed my hair last night, it’s an awesome kind of auburn, dark red-brown, loving it. Aidan did his blue-black, which is extremely funky. Tonight is going to be fun fun fun.

The latest news article I’m annoyed at:

http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/mps-block-online-howtodie-speech/2006/09/01/1156817070917.html

Essentially, an MP stood up and detailed ways of committing suicide, and they’ve suppressed online publication of that speech. The premier said “...if just one person follows the methods she outlined in the Parliament, she will have a death on her conscience” which I think is ridiculous. Let’s face it: if somebody wants to commit suicide, they’ll do it one way or another. Inspiration from an MP might suggest the method, but certainly not the urge.

Note to self Re: Recent trend with airlines

 

I keep reading articles in the newspaper about terrorism scares or other problems with aircraft, and one thing seems to reoccur – passengers are not being told what is going on. They may be asked to disembark, or told there’s a delay, but nobody says why. My first thought is that the lack of information may only scare people more, or lead them to jump to unreasonable conclusions. Having worked in customer service, I’m fully in favour of not telling customers everything, but you should always tell them SOMETHING.

The Wedding Transcript (first draft)

 

*** Introduction ***

Space is big. You just wouldn’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. You may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

The chances of finding a soulmate in all that infinite space are close to zero, yet here we stand today to witness the union of Aidan and Stacy, who found each other with astonishing ease.

Aidan and Stacy have long believed in celebrating the small things; today they welcome you as their dearest friends to help them celebrate the larger things in life.

They will be joined in matrimony here today with the assistance of Katie, our young flowergirl. Stacy will be supported by her very good friend and the instigator of this relationship, bridesmaid Chantell. Aidan’s support is in his best friend Andrew as his best man.

 

I now invite Andrew Scarborough, a wonderful friend of both partners, to perform an introductory reading for us.

 

*** Andrew’s Reading ***

"To My Bride" by Victor Frankenstein
To my bride, I give you my heart
Sharing love each day, from the very start

To my bride, I give you my heart
Fry it up right, from the very start!

To my bride, I give you my kiss
Filling each day with joy and bliss

To my bride, I give you my kiss
Honey, you ain't seen nothing like this!

To my bride, I give you my being
To love, to play, to work and to sing

To my bride, I give you my bean
Please my dear, do nothing obscene.

To my bride, I give you my mind
Learning each day to be more kind

To my bride, I give you my mentality
Learning each day the art of venality!

To my bride, I give you my soul
Growing together to be more whole

To my bride, I give you my soul
Rock ‘n’ Roll, baby will make us whole!

To my bride, I give you my life
Rejoicing each day that you are my wife

To my bride, I give you my life
Credit cards, ear wax and marital strife

 

*** Giving Away ***

Rodney, as Stacy’s father, are you willing to support and strengthen this marriage by upholding Aidan and Stacy with your love, now and always?

Dad – With love, I will

 

*** Deb ***

Now I, Deb Stallard, a civil celebrant

Am duly authorised by the law to solemnise this,

your marriage, according to the laws of Australia.

Before you, AIDAN, and you, STACY are joined together in marriage

In my presence, and in the presence here of your friends,

I am bound as you know, to remind you publicly of the solemn, 

serious and binding nature

of the relationship into which you are about to enter.

Marriage, as most of us understand it,

Is the voluntary and full commitment of a man to a woman    

And a woman to a man.

It is made in the deepest sense to the exclusion of all others,

and is entered into with the desire, hope,

and firm intention that it will last for life.

 

*** Reading ***

Extract from Victor Hugo’s “Les Miserables”, read by ...(undecided)

 

*** The Asking ***

Aidan and Stacy, marriage is the clasping of hands, the blending of hearts, the union of two lives as one. Are you ready now to make pledges of commitment together?

Answer (in unison) – I will

 

*** Vows ***

Yet to be written

 

*** Ring Exchange ***

Wherever you are, there I shall be.

 

*** Declaration ***

May the sun bring you new energy by day,

May the moon softly restore you by night.

May the rain wash away your worries,

And may  you live the days of your lives in peace, love and happiness.

 

Friends, Aidan and Stacy have declared before all of us their special promises to each other, spoken vows, and exchanged rings. Now it is my pleasure to introduce Aidan and Stacy Irving as husband and wife.

 

You may kiss the bride.

 

 

Bush’s latest bungle

 

Giving Angela Merkel a backrub at G-8. Dear God, what’s wrong with the man? She’s the German Chancellor, not a stress ball.

I wonder how many inventions are a product of boredom. Aidan believes all inventions were prompted by either war or the reproductive urge. That may be true, but it took boredom to really make something of it.

Television – probably originally a wonderful new method of communication, so vital in warfare. But the bored masses needed something to entertain them, so now television shows us the war happening somewhere else.

Polyphonic ringtones – I can’t see that this has anything to do with war or sex.

Sticky tape – I can just see some nerdy grad student cackling with glee – “I’m going to make a clear plastic strip, and unbeknownst to my unwary victim, ONE SIDE WILL BE STICKY!!!!!”

Blogs – need I say more?

I’m bored.

 

Loz was talking about fire earlier, and how strange it was that almost all humans feel mesmerized by watching a fire. It got me thinking (although I didn’t have a chance to say anything) – it’s not that surprising at all that we should be almost hypnotized by a fire. Historically fire has been our only weapon against animals and the dark, our only source of heat and light, our only way of cooking what we catch, and the camp fire has been the centre of social life. Humans have a deep-rooted respect for fire; both for it’s usefulness and for it’s danger. It’s hardly surprising that it lulls and soothes us even as it terrifies.

****also unfinished***

On Patriotism

 

Patriotism can be simply defined as a devotion to one’s country. This, at first glance, may appear a good and productive feeling. However when considered in the cold light of cynicism patriotism assumes a more sinister aspect.

The inspiration of patriotism, undertaken by politicians and the media in general, is a poorly disguised form of propaganda. It is patriotism which motivates a country’s young to join armed forces and fight wars.

***essay un-finished***

Oh the irony. Music preference can be a very powerful expression of self. So you buy an MP3 player to listen to it on the train (and inflict it on everybody else if it’s loud enough). But everybody has an MP3 player. Merely having one is conforming to a norm, even if you’re listening to death metal on it. INDIVIDUALITY CRISIS!!!

I'm back!

It’s been a long long time between blogs.

 

Aidan and I have been back in Australia for almost four months now, after being away for three months. We had the most fantastic holiday: lots of places, lots of new people, lots of fun, etc! I won’t go into massive detail; suffice to say it was amazing.

 

Since then, we’ve been working and studying and still rather having a bit of fun! Things are tough, of course: I’m not qualified for anything so my jobs are always low-paying, and Aidan isn’t finding work within his qualification just yet. But otherwise stuff is really good. We have a beautiful unit in a great spot, and we have four goldfish (Halley the comet, There’s the ugly fish, Do Not Feed the zebra fish, and Beward the leopard fish). We’ve done some volunteer work with CVA (Conservation Volunteers Australia) which is fun. All in all, things are trundling along as nicely as can be expected.